Ukrainian Folk Tale
Read by: Honored Artist of Ukraine Mykhailo Voichuk
Once there was a nobleman who loved stories — the more unbelievable, the better.
In the same village lived a man named Ivan, who knew plenty of tales. So the nobleman sent for him.
When Ivan arrived, the lord said,
“Come on, Ivan, tell me a tale.”
But Ivan shook his head.
“I won’t, my lord. You’ll just say I’m lying.”
“I won’t,” said the lord. “Look — I’ll put a hundred gold coins on the table. If I ever call you a liar, the money’s yours.”
He placed the gold on the table.
“All right,” said Ivan, “but whenever I ask, ‘Is it true, my lord?’, you must answer, ‘True!’”
“Deal,” said the lord.
So Ivan began:
“When I was young, I planted a bean under the bench in my house. Isn’t that true, my lord?”
“True,” said the lord.
“The bean grew up to the bench, poked through it, reached the ceiling, broke through the roof, and grew straight up to the sky. Isn’t that true, my lord?”
“True,” said the lord.
“When I saw that the bean had grown all the way to heaven, I started climbing it. But when I got there, the gates of heaven were locked. They wouldn’t let me in, and I had nothing to eat. Then I saw a pile of barley chaff, so I twisted it into a rope and started climbing down. When the rope ran short, I tore some off the top to tie to the bottom — but it wasn’t enough. I fell into a swamp and got stuck up to my neck. Isn’t that true, my lord?”
“True,” said the lord.
“I couldn’t get out. A wild duck flew by, built a nest on my head, and hatched ducklings. Then a wolf came, ate the ducklings, and when I grabbed his tail and shouted, ‘Father!’, he pulled me out of the swamp. I walked through the swamp and saw some herdsmen tending pigs — and there, among them, was your father, my lord, herding pigs too! Isn’t that true, my lord?”
“You’re lying! That’s not true!” shouted the lord.
Ivan calmly took the hundred gold coins from the table and went home smiling.
